I am soooooooooooooo sick of dieting and failing!!!! I can't say that loud enough. I have a love hate relationship with food. I LOVE to eat. Really LOVE it. It makes me feel happy and satisfied. It makes my headaches, tummy aches, heart aches and any other issue go away. Now that said - I know why I am fat. I am an emotional eater.
So what do I do about it? I can't stop feeling things. I can't stop eating.
I have tried so many different things - eating a limited number of calories, weight watcher points, limiting junk food - and none of it works. Well, it works great, until lunch. Then someone says something to hurt my feelings, or I am feeling down on myself, or I just feel hungry. So - I eat. And eat. And eat. I would guesstimate that in any given day I eat close to 3,000 calories. That is horrible to admit - but it is true. The thing is - I really don't like the flavor of vegetables. Unless it is drenched in ranch dressing ore some other calorie filled substitute, I don't like it. So I eat junk food, high fat, processed crap. I am probably not going to rot when I die because I have eaten so many preservatives. It is really gross when I think of it.
I want to exercise, but I can come up with so many excuses of why I can't or don't that it would make your head spin. Some of them are - my back hurts (valid, but it probably hurts partly because I am fat), It is too cold to take the baby outside for a walk (also valid, but I could walk indoors somewhere), the baby wants to be held all the time so I can't get a good workout (the baby does want to be held all the time so not sure what to do about this one), I am too tired, my shows are on.......
and it goes on and on and on. Why don't I just get up off my fat, lazy butt and do something????? I don't know.
I know I have just totally beat myself up here, but it is all true. I went to the doctor yesterday and she told me that my pulse rate is really high and it is because my heart cant handle all of my weight. It has to pump super fast (resting heart rate is in the low 100s) just to get blood to my body. So I really have to change my lifestyle. I need something to kick me in the butt and get me moving. Unfortunately we can not afford a gym membership, and then there is the problem of childcare. Look - here I go making excuses again.
That is the problem - excuses.